I Did It Afraid: The Imperfectly Perfect Beginning of a New Author

Sometimes the first step isn't confidence. Sometimes it's simply deciding that fear doesn't get the final vote.

I recently heard the phrase “imperfectly perfect.”I smiled when I heard it because, whew…if that doesn't describe this season of my life. I'm a new author.Even typing those words still feels a little strange.

For years, I've written things down. I've documented experiences, collected thoughts, reflected on lessons, noticed patterns, created systems, and said more than once, “One day, I should turn this into something.” Well...One day finally showed up. And here's what I've learned already:One day does not arrive with a perfect manuscript, perfect formatting, unlimited money, expert publishing knowledge, a flawless marketing plan, and somebody standing beside you handing you step-by-step instructions. Sometimes “one day” looks like sitting in front of your computer thinking: I have absolutely no idea what this button does. And pressing it anyway. I Did It Afraid.

There's something I want to say to the person who thinks confidence has to come before action: it doesn't. I was excited about publishing my first books. I was also nervous. I questioned things.I changed things. I learned things after I probably would have preferred to know them. I uploaded files, reviewed them, made corrections, learned new terminology, figured out formatting, dealt with covers and page counts and digital versions and paperback versions—and occasionally discovered that what looked perfectly fine on my computer had completely different plans once it reached a publishing platform. Welcome to becoming an author, apparently. But I kept going. Not because I suddenly stopped being afraid. I did it afraid. That's different. Sometimes courage isn't walking into something completely confident.Sometimes courage is saying: I'm new at this. I don't know everything. I might make a mistake. And I'm still going to try.

My First Writings Are Going Out Into the World

That part feels especially vulnerable. ROTTNBOZ™ Volume 1 and Volume 2 aren't books I wrote after becoming a seasoned professional author. They're my beginning. These are some of my first writings that I'm choosing to share publicly. There are lessons in them. There is lived experience in them. There are things I've observed about people, leadership, workplaces, difficult situations, accountability, documentation, isolation, clarity, and growth. And there is a lot of me in them. Not every detail of my life.But certainly the lessons life has taught me. That makes releasing them exciting. It also makes it personal. When you create something privately, you control the room. When you publish it, you open the door and invite other people inside. That's new for me.

Imperfectly Perfect

Will I eventually look back at my first books and see something I would have done differently? Probably. Actually...Absolutely. I hope I do. Because if I don't, that would mean I didn't grow. The Brandi who writes Book 10 should know things the Brandi who wrote Book 1 didn't know yet. She should understand publishing better. She should understand readers better. She should have stronger systems. She should probably be much faster at formatting. Please let her be faster at formatting. But I don't want Future Brandi's experience to make me disrespect Beginning Brandi's courage. She started. That's important. There is something beautiful about allowing your first attempt to actually be your first attempt. Not your imaginary perfect attempt. Not the version you've revised for another five years because you're afraid somebody might find something wrong with it. The real one. The one where you learn.

That's ROTTNBOZ Too

The funny thing is that this publishing journey has started teaching me the same principles I've been writing about. DOCUMENT. Pay attention to what happened. Keep the information. Learn the process. Write down what worked and what didn't.

PROTECT.Protect the vision. Ask questions. Learn before making decisions. Get the right professional guidance when you need it. Don't let one mistake convince you the entire idea was a mistake.

RISE.Take what you learned and make the next one better. That's it. Not:Document. Protect. Become Perfect.Thank goodness. Document. Protect. Rise.Growth was built into the philosophy from the beginning.

Maybe You're Beginning Something Too

That's really why I wanted to write this. Maybe you're not writing a book. Maybe you're starting a business.Applying for the position. Going back to school. Learning technology that everybody else seems to understand. Starting over financially. Creating something. Leaving something. Trying something you've quietly wanted to do for years. And maybe you're waiting for the magical morning when you wake up feeling completely prepared. I can't promise that morning is coming. But I can tell you what happened to me. I started before I felt completely ready. Then I learned something. Then I corrected something. Then I learned something else. Then I got a little better. And somewhere in that process, the thing I was afraid to begin became something I could actually see. That's progress.

I Want This Community to Grow Differently

As ROTTNBOZ grows, I don't want to build a community where everyone has to show up after they've figured everything out. That's not real life. I want us to be able to say: “I'm learning. I tried. That didn't work. Here's what I learned. I'm trying again. Look what I finally did!”And yes, sometimes: “Can somebody please tell me which button I'm supposed to push?” There's room for that here too. Because experience shouldn't only be valuable after we've mastered something. Sometimes sharing what we're learning while we're learning it can help the person coming right behind us. That's community.

So, Hello From the Beginning

I'm Brandi. I'm a new author. I'm learning. I'm publishing.I'm building ROTTNBOZ. I'm probably going to make another mistake somewhere along the way. And I'm going to keep going. My hope is that these first books help somebody. Maybe they help you recognize something sooner. Maybe they encourage you to write something down. Maybe they help you feel less alone in an experience. Maybe a reflection question makes you think differently. Maybe you simply close the book and say:“Okay. I know what my next step is.” That would mean something to me. And while you're learning from what I wrote, I'll be learning too—from this journey, from readers, from this growing community, and from whatever comes next. So here's to beginnings. To first books.To first attempts. To corrections. To lessons. To doing things afraid.To being brave enough to let something be imperfectly perfect while you continue becoming better. And to never allowing the pursuit of perfection to rob you of the pride of saying: I DID IT.Welcome to this chapter of ROTTNBOZ™. I'm glad you're here near the beginning. We've got a lot more growing to do. Together.

Document. Protect. Rise.™

— Brandi V. Whitten Founder & Author, ROTTNBOZ™

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Thank you,

Brandi Whitten